Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Freshman Year - Part 16, End of the Year

In my campaign to promote détente with my roommates, I arranged a drug buy for them. I used my acquaintance with some of Colleen’s equal opportunity students who used their stipends to buy drugs to sell on campus. I contacted one of them and put them in touch with Tiffany. Tiffany bought some opiate hash from him which she and Nancy enjoyed immensely. Or so they told me. Oh, boy. Now we were really buddies. I just couldn’t wait for the semester to end.

I visited Tom once more at Cornell before the end of the semester. Before then I had had a kind of a pregnancy scare. My menses are very irregular. There, now I get you never figured you would ever know information like that about me! This is a bad thing if you are trying to keep track of whether or not you are pregnant. Tom and I were only using condoms. So, I was really late one month, which was turning into six weeks actually. They didn’t have the quickie tests back then like they do now. So I was sitting around sweating bullets and worrying. Finally, I got my period. So, when I saw Tom I told him about my close call and he suggested that I go on the pill. I had already come to that conclusion myself thank you very much. The one hold up for me was that then my mom would have to know, because she made the doctor’s appointments. How embarrassing.

So, I had to go home and say to my mom, “Mom, I need to go to the doctor and go on the pill.”

She just kind of looked at me with resignation on her face and said, “Okay, honey, I don’t want to know, but I will make you an appointment. I just want to picture you in your white dress at your wedding and not know anything else. Okay?”

So I had to go to our family doctor and lie on his examining table with my feet up in the stirrups while he shoved his hand up into me and felt around in there and I had no idea what he was looking for. Like maybe he had lost his wedding band. Oh, he was wearing gloves. Needless to say, I did not enjoy this experience at all. But it was to be repeated annually throughout my life. I promised myself that I would get a female gynecologist when I was an adult. But, in the end I got the prescription for the pill and filled it at the pharmacy across the street from my house.

I realize now, that I could have gone to the health service right on campus and gotten the pill, but that was made less obvious in 1975 than it seems to be these days. Thank goodness for modern times.

Tom and I made love again and it was as good as the last time. We were both on a learning curve and discovering what our bodies could do together. It was all very exciting. He would pump away with his fit and toned body and I would orgasm. Oh god, he felt so good! Sometimes I felt like I died and went to heaven. Then I would wake and be on the stairs back up to nirvana again and again…. I was reaching my point of blissful oblivion more quickly and frequently each time with Tom. It was a good thing too, because we would only make love the one time when we were together and that was it. We tried other positions, but Tom preferred missionary. I figured let the man do what he does best. What the hell, I was getting off more than once any way.

I was way too young to be falling deeply into love and I knew it. I loved Tom, and he said that he loved me, but that was the extent of it. It wasn’t like we were going to get married or anything. We were having a great time together and that was it.

Did I mention that Tom was a mamma’s boy? He used to call his mother every other day. I thought it was strange, but there it was. We made plans for me to visit him at his home in Buffalo, New York, and then for him to visit me on Long Island over the summer break.

Towards the end of the semester, I remember studying for finals while lying out in the sun in my blue and white checked bikini. I got a slight burn on my chest that day. I was thinking about freshman chemistry and how it made no sense to me whatsoever. I found it completely illogical and I just didn’t get it. That could explain why I got a C- in the course. Anyhow, I questioned my being in college at all. I didn’t really like my major (biology) that much so far and I really hated all of the other courses, except for English, and I had no friends and the roommates from hell. So far my college experience was kind of a bust. I just couldn’t see what kind of employment I could get out of this education.

But I was willing to give it another year because I knew that some of those things would change in my sophomore year. I would be rooming with Colleen and her girlfriends in the brand new twin towers dorms and I would have all new courses. So it would be instant friends and fresh fodder for the brain. Hope springs eternal and I decided to stay on at Cayuga.

4 comments:

Doug said...

Wow, drug deals, pregnancy scares, and uncomfortable gynecological exams, that's some Freshman year you had. And you were worried about going to hell for lusting after porn stars? ;)

Sue said...

Don't forget my near date rape and that I lost my virginity. Scarred for life and marked for damnation, that is me! Oh woe! Into the abyss I fall. Too dramatic? Thanks for commenting Doug!

Chrissie said...

Dont go fallin into any abysses now. I just read this for the first time and felt like i relived my lame-o freshman year vicariously thru you. Here's a site i'd think you'll enjoy too: www.dinahproject.com

Sue said...

Thanks Chrissie. I will check it out!