Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Graham's Meme: Truths Revealed!

Graham tagged me. No fair!!! Isn't!

Here are five things about me. Four of them are true. One of them is a lie. Guess which one is a lie.

1) It took my brother 27 years to earn his bachelors degree.

True - He only needed 3 English credits to graduate and they became required when he wanted to become a teacher in high school science/math.

2) I was married in a white, black and red dress.

True - I abhor tradition.

3) I once smoked pot with other employees of a company where I was safety coordinator.

True - I noticed them in a company van and joined them.

4) I have a minor in Ornithology.

False - I have a minor in Chemistry, 4 more credits and it would be a major.

5) I am a registered Republican.

True - It is for a few reasons: 1) so I can vote in Republican primaries and influence who will run for president, 2) so I can say that I am the dissatisfied Republican that had to cross over and vote Democrat, 3) so that I can destroy the party from within (I voted for Buchanan in the Republican primaries in 2000 hoping the party would implode), 4) the Republicans were first to show up at my house after we moved and I thought, "gee I can work with this", 5) it is really fun at social settings and in now in occasional memes. But in my heart of hearts I am Democrat all the way.

What I really want to know is man, Shaney, am I that transparent to you all the time? How did you know?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Daniel Craig - Movie Review, Part 4

Sword of Honour 2001

Guy Crouchback, played by Daniel Craig, is a rich Roman Catholic traditionalist in WWII England whose feelings about honor and orderly conflict are shattered by the ironies of the war. In a series of darkly comic vignettes, taken from the novels written by Evelyn Waugh, Crouchback futilely aspires to distinguish himself, but in the end, he learns that this struggle is in and of itself is destructive to others in an especially poignant moment of the film. He changes his focus to that of just helping others, but here is also stymied. There are some hot sex scenes with his ex-wife, played by Katrin Cartlidge, who is a real looker as they used to say back then. There is also a scene where he swims underwater off of Crete, but he is wearing his boxers. He looks as if he was born in military uniform, so much so that you will swear you have seen him in one previously.

There are some captivating moments and if the whole film had been produced at that level, it would have warranted four stars. But all in all, it had some slow moments too. This film was initially produced for British television and has now been produced on 2 DVDs.

*** of five stars.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Boat Shmoat, We're Going to Paris - Part 14

When we got back home, we both felt quite out of shape and went to our local YMCA to work out. It was Sunday. We weighed ourselves. Sean gained 3 pounds in Paris and I gained 1.5! So that is why my pants felt tight. Too many buttery croissants I guess. Eep!

The next day at work, I quickly faxed my new contract to Ms. S of the manicured nails so that she could see that there was no car in France. She could not believe it and said that she would try to straighten that out right away for me.

That same day, My boss, Dr. S, assigned a new Director for our group, Mr. B, who had just returned from 2 assignments in Europe. One was in Brussels and the other in Paris. I was eager to meet with Mr. B and ask him about living in Europe and my wish was granted as I met with him that very day. Unfortunately, what he had to say was quite sobering. He told me that Europeans considered things like kitchen cabinets, refrigerators, stoves, etc., to be furniture and would take them away when they moved and if we rented a house we would have to provide them. That would mean thousands of dollars in appliances that we would have to provide to live there. We could always rent these appliances, but the cost was still there up front. He also said that the company would not promise employment after the overseas posting. That is why he was our boss now. He needed a job for a couple of years before his retirement and this was all the company had to offer. He commented that in all, he loved being in Europe so that he and his wife could travel around, but it really drained his financial resources and if he hadn’t saved and had all of his kids out of college he wouldn’t have made it financially. Of course he got a car because he was at the director level and probably a better deal as well. He told me to examine my contract very carefully before signing it.

The day went by really quickly. When I got home, Sean was finished looking at the contract. His face looked bleak. I added the information from Mr. B about the kitchen cabinets and appliances. Sean just shook his head. We went though the numbers together. It was truly terrible. With the cost of a car, the underestimated mortgage coverage, the rent for the house we would need, the loss of Sean’s income, the cabinets etc., we figured that we would be out $80,000 in the first 3 months. I tried not to think about it because that would mean that we could not go and live in Paris and my dream would die.

I went into work the next day. I had a call from Ms. S of the manicured nails. She said that she has spoken to Monsieur P and that he was quite adamant that personnel at my level do not get a car in France. She did not understand why the French had to be different than all of Europe on this and would work to get it changed for me, though it might take time. I thanked her and rang off.

I held the contract in my hands and started to get really upset. What was I going to do? So, I walked down the hall to see my friend, Dr. R, the vice president of oncology. He was in and motioned me to sit down. I closed the door and burst into tears. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that my dream of working in Paris was not affordable and explained why. I told him that I just didn’t know the next step. He advised that I write Dr. A a response to the contract telling her why I cannot accept it and how upset I am. I thanked him profusely and did just that.

My memo to Dr. A began, “I am crestfallen that I cannot accept this offer to come and work in Paris…”, and then went on to specify why the contract did not cover my expenses adequately. I sent it, copying Ms. S and Monsieur P. A great weight was lifted when I sent it.

The next morning, I got a call from Dr. A. She ranted and raved about how she hates Americans and most especially me and why should she care about my needs and bla, bla, bla… on and on. I guess my memo was not received well at all. She felt that I had taken her free week in Paris and used her. I just let her rant, because I was so glad that I had not signed a contract to work for that American hating bitch. I thanked for calling when she wound down. She was just venting her disappointment after all. I was also disappointed. Sigh.

Later that month, I attended a Clinical Operations Meeting and all of the Clinical Vice Presidents were there. Dr. P, whom I had dinner in Paris was there and some other of my pals and all were sympathetic to my turning down the job with Dr. A. One VP said that if it were him, it would not have gone that way at all. Then, Dr. A entered the room. I extended my hand to her and said that I was sorry that it hadn’t worked out between us. She looked me in the eye and said that she was sorry too. We shook hands and I almost cried. Dr. P said that he was surprised by the maturity. I looked at him and said that we were adults, why would he be surprised? Dr. A mentioned that she had hired a very nice woman from the UK to do the job and it turned out it was someone I knew, liked and had worked with before. She was single, had a car, and therefore perfect for the job. I was happy that Dr. A found someone capable so quickly and said so.

Later that night at home with Sean, I was thinking and said, “I guess we’ll never live in Paris.”

He replied, “But, Susie, we live in paradise now, and we Summer Camp, our new boat. Remember, we weren’t going to go to Paris because of the boat.”

“Oh yeah”

And together we said, “Boat shmoat, we’re going to Paris!”

The End

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Sunday Comics - Oliver Frey Strikes Again

Enjoy this gem from Oliver Frey, courtesy of Pete from Finland.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Friday Fantasy - Amazon Discovery, The Young Explorer Part 1

The young explorer was deep in the Amazon jungle looking for a rare variant of the blue morpho butterfly. He held his net aloft. He thought he had seen one flitting up ahead and then he lost it in the dense foliage. He treaded carefully in that general direction.

He had separated from his research group on purpose, because he felt they scared his precious Lepidoptera away with all of their camp noise. Now he was all alone and could finally hear himself think. He remembered the last explorer in the area who was researching orchids, Sue Fairview, who ran into the Tender One, who got a bit “friendly” with her. No chance of that happening to him though. Like he would ever be so lucky. He chuckled to himself. Then he caught sight of his prey again and was off running through the jungle.

Suddenly he tripped over a log he had not seen and fell head long into a stream. He got up, soaking wet to the skin and there he was. The Tender One, standing there completely naked. He was enormous. The young explorer had not believed Sue’s description of his size. It was hard to tell from the photo she took. This man was huge, everywhere. And uncut! Well naturally he would be. The explorer stood stock still so as not to frighten the man and softly said his own name. The Tender One came forward slowly to touch the explorer’s face and gaze into his eyes, the same as he had done with Sue. Then the wild man laughed noiselessly when he noticed the explorer’s wet clothes. The explorer laughed with him and said out loud that he ought to take them off to dry. He took his clothes off and laid them on a rock to dry.

Then he turned and saw the Tender One was watching him undress the whole time. What a specimen of a man he was. Perfect in every way. His skin was beautiful and evenly toned; this musculature was balanced and large, blackish-brown eyes and hair complemented everything. The explorer found himself breathing deeply and then realized that he was getting an erection. He turned his back quickly to hide it from the Tender One. But it was too late; the Tender One had noticed it and his curiosity was aroused.

He walked to where the explorer was and placed his hand on the explorer’s shoulder to turn him back to face him. The Tender One looked down at the explorer’s erection and put his hand on it very gently, as if to cradle it. Then he moved in to kiss the explorer. They kissed deeply and the explorer wondered if he had died and gone to heaven to have this dreamy man kissing him and holding his genitals. The explorer’s hands moved to the Tender One’s ample chest and back and held on for balance as he moaned into the kiss. When he opened his eyes, the explorer could see that the Tender One’s eyes were closed and he was echoing the explorer’s erection with an even larger one.

The explorer couldn’t wait to touch that raging boner, and so he did. He grabbed the Tender One’s penis and began to masturbate it using the foreskin while gauging the man’s reaction to that. The Tender One’s head rolled back in ecstasy in response and the explorer was relieved. Slowly, the Tender One went to his knees, and then sat down. The explorer moved with him, keeping up the motion. Then the explorer really decided to give the native a treat, and put his mouth on the man’s hard on and sucked it in gently, guarding it with his lips and tongue. The explorer had to open really wide to take all of the native’s member into his mouth, so large it was. A loud deep groan filled the jungle, as if an animal like a lion was being satisfied, when the explorer did that. At this point the wild man lay prone, helpless, lost deep in pleasure the likes of which he had never experienced before. The explorer took care to do all of the fellatio tricks he knew as it seemed that it was the first time for this poor man. It didn’t take long at all for the Tender One’s breathing to begin to quicken and his hips to involuntarily rise to meet the explorer’s mouth’s descent as if he was getting close to cumming. The explorer thought, that’s okay, let him cum like this, after all, it is his first ever blow job. And cum he did. Oh boy! How long had it been wondered the explorer? Jets of thick white cum spurted into the explorer’s mouth and he swallowed as much as he could, but there was too much. It went into the explorer’s hair and onto his face. The peaceful look on the Tender One’s face as he lay there after was priceless. But the explorer had not yet cum, but he was close too as he was so excited by the Tender One. He put his own hand lubed with spit and cum on his own cock and began to masturbate while the native watched. The wild man propped his head up with one arm and used his right hand to help the explorer. He wrapped his massive hand over the explorer’s smaller one and moved both hands up and down rhythmically while gazing directly into the explorer’s eyes. It didn’t take too long for the explorer to cum this way.

After a brief rest, the explorer rose and rinsed his face in the stream, and went to get his clothes and leave. While passing the Tender One, a strong arm shot out and grabbed his ankle and pulled him down to the ground. The native man was very strong. The explorer’s mind raced. He had just given this wild man who cannot speak an amazing orgasmic blow job and now he expected the wild man to just let him walk away? What had he done? Would the wild man ever let him leave? He glanced back at the wild man trying to see what was in his eyes. He saw lust. Raw lust.

Stay tuned to hear what happens next on the Young Explorer…

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Freshman Year - Part 4, Troy

Cayuga used to hire small name local bands to come to campus and give concerts. These were considered really big events by students and well attended. One of these was during a time I was really looking for a boyfriend (when wasn’t I?). I had no party clothes to speak of, just my everyday jeans and shirt. So that was what I put on for the concert. I didn’t feel special at all or that I would stand out in any way. I didn’t own any make up; so I wore none. Heck, I didn’t even have curly lashes like Janice. I did not own a blow drier for my shoulder length hair. What chance did I have to meet anybody? So, there I stood bathed in the deafening “music”, scanning the crowd for “men”. They were really far and few between at Cayuga. As I was standing there, someone came up behind me and asked me to dance. I turned and it was this really cute black guy. So I said, “Sure.”

I had not noticed him before on campus. But he was around five foot eight, with an afro and very attractive. He really knew how to dance. We were doing the bump and I was just trying to keep up with him, as my dancing skills are not that great (can you say major white man’s disease?). He must have noticed because we only danced one and then he turned to his other two friends, a girl and a boy, standing there waiting and motioned the girl to join him in the dance. Man, she could move for a white girl.

She had short black hair, but was plain and stocky. The young man had curly dirty blond hair and blue eyes and was okay looking. He was tall, but his face looked kind of boyish for my tastes. We all went down stairs together in the student union for refreshments and introduced ourselves.

The young black man said, “Hi. My name is Troy. These are my friends Colleen and Timothy.”

I replied, “Hi. I am Sue.” We got to talking and it turned out that Colleen was from Sullivan County in the Catskills and Timothy was from Long Island. Troy was from Spanish Harlem, born of Puerto Rican and African American parents. Just like that I had found a small click of friends to be with. Troy was magnetic and very bright and handsome and I hoped to date him. Certainly, Colleen was no threat to me there. Besides, Colleen just seemed to have a heart of gold. I really like that in a friend. She couldn’t possibly think that Troy was going to date her. He did seem to be focusing in on me.

At one point during our chit chats it came up that he was a government sponsored student. I said, “Oh, you mean like the Equal Opportunity Students here at Cayuga?”, and he indicated that yes, that was indeed the case. There were a whole bunch of EO students on campus. As a matter of fact, there was an entire floor of one of the dorms devoted to EO students.

Late one night, Troy walked me back to my dorm room. When we got there we were alone. He stepped in ahead of me and neither of us turned on the lights. He put his hands on my shoulders and drew me closer to him. Our mouths met and he kissed me. His tongue came out and rubbed quickly back and forth over my lips, but when I opened my mouth, he withdrew and smiled. Then he turned and left without a word. I was totally confused. He was my boyfriend, just really prudish? I just didn’t know what to think. But in general I was pleased, because he was really hot and he was mine.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Daniel Craig - 3 Movie Reviews, Part 3

Lara Croft Tomb Raider 2001

Let’s just say that you will enjoy this film more it you have the brain wavelength capacity of an adolescent boy and/or at least can shut off your adult brain function for the duration of the film. Because, make no mistake, that was the target audience for this film. There is a lot of archeological gizmo and gadget-like stuff, cool robotics (if one is an adolescent boy that is), guns and fights, swinging around, martial arts, funky stunts, and occasional glimpses of nude Angelina Jolie. I’m not even sure what Daniel Craig was doing in the film.

But, he is there as her former lover and the other tomb raider that works for the bad guy, but in the end helps Angelina when it counts. She saves his life in return for his good deed, and that is the last we ever hear of him. There is one shower scene that he is in that is sort of hot, but it is nothing that Daniel Craig fans haven’t seen before. Due to camera work, you never get to see anything below his hips anyhow. There is some suggestive talk, but really, I found it hardly worth sitting through the whole film for.

** of five stars

Munich 2005

This is a more violent film than I usually watch which is why I didn’t go see it when it was in theaters. You get to see lots of people shot into bloody bitty bits and blown into bloodier bittier bits. I remember when the tragedy during the Munich Olympics happened and was horrified to watch it play out on television. It was difficult to watch it again in this movie. The main character Avner, played by Eric Bana, also relives the hostage taking throughout the movie. He rounds up a small squad of assassins, including Steve, played by Daniel Craig. Together they killed six of 11 Black September, thought to have masterminded the Munich Black September terrorist plot.

Avner questions whether killing these people was justified or not and what purpose it ultimately served. Eric Bana’s acting is terrific and he is supported solidly by the cast. There are some hot scenes of Eric having sex with his wife, but Daniel Craig remains clothed and we only get to see him shooting and driving. The movie runs 2 hours and 44 minutes, but goes by swiftly as you are drawn in by the characters and the situations. It is a great movie if you aren’t put off by violence.

**** of five stars

The Mother 2004

Oh yeah. Daniel Craig plays Darren, a real hot sexy stud in this film. Unfortunately the femme fatale he is so fervently seducing and screwing is an out of shape grandmotherly looking one. If that is not going to bother you, this movie is for you! Although, this is a very depressing movie because it asks what aging means in society today and the answer is one of hopelessness and uselessness.

May, played by Anne Reid, loses her husband to a heart attack while they are on a family visit to London. She is at a complete loss as to what she is to do next, so she moves in with her daughter who is having an affair with Darren, the married carpenter who is building a conservatory onto the house. May’s daughter presses her to find out if Darren is serious about her and will leave his wife. May set about to determine this and one thing leads to another and next thing we know they are getting it on. She feels alive again and will do anything to perpetuate that feeling. (Who wouldn't if it was with Daniel?) The futility of her quest is well communicated here.

Daniel Craig’s character is a scoundrel in this movie and plays the role extremely convincingly (which is why my sister tells me she will never date actors, but that is another story entirely). I did not enjoy the movie, because the message was so depressing, just as aging can be. But Daniel was fabulous in this role, pretty to look at and you get to see his ass. It's just this grandmother thing that hangs me up. Am I agist? Me?

*** of five stars

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Boat Shmoat, We're Going to Paris - Part 13

I had been to the Louvre before, and really wasn’t interested in seeing the Mona Lisa or Winged Victory or Venus de Milo and thankfully neither was Sean. I really wanted to stay away from crowds and see their Egyptian collection. I am relentlessly fascinated with the antiquity of Egypt as well as other ancient civilizations.

So that is what we did. We were both astounded by this exhibit. Never have we seen sculptures that communicated and spoke to us across time so loudly and profoundly. It felt as if these people were alive just yesterday, not millennia ago. We could relate closely with their cares and feelings. I had never gotten that feeling from an Egyptian exhibit before. Neither had Sean. It was weird.

After seeing the exhibit, I really wanted to take a piece of Paris home with me, so we decided to shop at the mall under the Louvre. There are gift shops including Lalique and Faberge. At the Lalique shop, of all the things they had, my favorites were very pretty little fish in a rainbow of colors, seahorses, butterflies, and dragonflies. Nothing was cheaper than $125. But then I thought, what the hell am I going to do with this little tiny glass fish when I get home? Will it just sit and gather dust? I have no place to display it in my house and it is not the sort of thing that I would wear. So I walked out without one.

Then we went to Faberge and looked at their wearable eggs. Same thing there. I didn’t like any of the eggs well enough to wear; they were a bit big for me as pendants, and too expensive at $350. But it was very nice to think about. So I left Paris empty handed with just memories and my contract to consider.

Ahoy ExNavyMike - Permission to Link Sir!

Permission granted! Link away!

ExNavyMike is a really cool guy who lives in San Francisco and New York, has a very sexy boyfriend named Pete, is a Buffy fan, is working on his dissertation in English for a PhD, and is really, really nice (and hot).

Let me tell you how nice he is. When I was curious about what some Buffy action figures looked like, he posted them, just for me! Isn't that sweet? Isn't he a sweetie? I just want to pinch his cheeks.

Mike writes about his life and his many hobbies. We should all be so lucky; he considers himself very blessed. So head on over to his blog and get reading. That is an order! Snap to!

What is more, is he gave his boyfriend Pete the cutest little Papillion dog, Ozzy. Isn't Ozzy just the most adorable little puppy you have ever laid eyes on? You know my stance on bloggers that post pictures of their pets... So, let's all welcome ExNavyMike to our lives!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Friday Fantasy - Francesco D'Macho

I'll tell you a secret about Fair View Sue. She's never watched Gay Porn. That's right, for all her brazen talk, she's never watched a full gay porn movie. She doesn't even own one. But that doesn't mean she's not been exposed to gay porn stars. How could she not, traipsing around all of these wondrous gay blogs? Over time, she has developed a crush on a gay porn star. Oh no, say it isn't so! Oh, but it is. Sigh.

Her crush is on Francesco D'Macho. What a hunk. He is everything Sue likes. A big hard, well muscled body, dreamy blue eyes, beautiful skin, and big cock. He just makes her drool uncontrollably. It all started on Pete's blog. That is where she first laid eyes on him. He probably looked something like this.

To see why he had this look on his face, you will have to go here.

Here he is hard at work in Palm Springs. Don't you think he has a hot ass?

Having a tete a tete with Sagat.

And on his own.

In the last week a video was released of him a Sagat sharing a kiss in 2006 to ease the tension of a live show they were going to do together. You can see it here. Sue found it to be pretty HOT and secretly wishes he would kiss her like that.

Sue thinks she will link his blog to her her pathetic little Fair View blog. What do you think? Is she just too pathetic?